Reflections

The Journal Collector

I have a confession to make. I’m actually a journal collector. I had forgotten when it began. Perhaps I was influenced by the methods my teachers used in the earlier years of my education hence keeping a journal since then. Though the lapse had gone away in the later years when I was too busy to keep one or when I felt like it was too silly to record. But I have continued to collect journals over the years. YES, empty journals. Journals that I sometimes I find to be cute. Or just plain cool at others. Then there are journals that my sister got for me. I don’t know if there are more journals or more sketchbooks lying around, but I guess it might just be journals.

I just got this one recently at Barnes & Nobles. It was on sale, and it was pretty. (YES, I tend to have some very random reasons to buy it.) I seriously don’t know what I’m going to do with it yet. At least not yet. Possibly brainstorming? It’s about time I try the old “pen and paper” brainstorming technique after much failed attempt trying to take up writing again. My writer’s block virus is still around. Aside from writing random stuffs like these, I can’t seem to come up with any good materials so heading back to the traditional way won’t hurt, right?

This next one is what I call a “good deed recorder” journal. Why is it named that? Mostly because at one point in my life, I really want to give up on humanity in general. Seriously, NOT being dramatic. It really happened several years ago. (But I will spare everyone from those side details.) One day, I saw something that changed my mind and to never give up hope on people, no matter how slim it got. I was eating lunch at one of the side buildings at my university and this blind man was trying to find his way around with his stick ahead, testing the area first, especially how there was an automatic door coming up in his path. He must have known about it and it must have been his usual route because when I saw him coming into sight, he knew his way really well. But when he got to the automatic door, the door–which had worked fine for the last few minutes that I had watched–refused to open even after some movements were made around the black mat below. Usually the door was very sensitive. I wanted to help but I was still reluctant as to how since the man was still finding his way around, waving his stick–wanting to find an alternative route instead of waiting for the door. Or he must have thought he miscalculated somehow so he was still waving the stick around to sense the area. Then before anyone could react (or possibly because I was half watching him and half thinking of some way to help him–without offending him–that I didn’t see), a door opened nearby and that guy who just opened the door stepped to one side without saying or making any further movements, waiting patiently for the man to notice the door (with his sensing method of the waving stick) and eventually walked through it before he stepped past the door and went in the opposite direction. That was when I smiled. And as dramatic as it sounded, that was when I promised myself to keep hope alive regardless of what happen. As if that wasn’t enough, I set a goal on my list to make some sort of journal to keep track of all the good deeds I see around me to remind myself there are still good in this world.

To be honest, I don’t remember what day that was anymore, I only remember it was a somewhat breezy afternoon but the sun was still present so there was wind yet the day was still warm. I didn’t remember it because the guy who helped that man was was cute or anything. (Though I sort of remember he was.) But the point was, little subtle gestures like that reminded me someone do not have to do something supposedly “grand” and announce it to the world to be a hero. Those little moments are worth more than anything because it is at the right time and it is done in silent. The other reason why I wanted to keep such a journal was so I could learn from others as well.

As for this coming one, it is called “dream catcher” because I sometimes would write down some dreams that I actually find interesting or just wacko. AND I even go to the extreme of using those notes for some of my stories. So far, nothing major. But other than that, I wouldn’t brag about anything. It’s just that I might be able to laugh about it at times when I go back and read.

These two (below), I haven’t even found a purpose for them yet. I’m sure I’ll find something in the future. Or perhaps it would become Journal #2 for one of the previous themes because I wish to fill up the others completely.

Lastly, the longest withstanding one of them all, which haven’t gotten destroyed or tore up by me in one of my past frustration waves yet. This one is the most random one of them all as well because it has all the song titles of my favorite songs and also the reasons why I like those songs so much. Some, just for no reason. Others, I just go back and fill up the pages when the feelings for those songs change over the years. What’s more is a different colored pen is used per page. (No black, gray, or those other too moody colors though.)

Actually, keeping journals aren’t bad. It actually helps me maintain a certain readability for my handwriting, considering how my penmanship is. It’s definitely good practice. Of course, it’s also a great excuse for me to collect and get all random over the years.

This must come cross really strange that suddenly I’m writing about myself. It’s just that I haven’t written a “me” post since ages now so I thought it’s not too much that I share this. And the other reason is I’ve been cleaning my room (again) so I found some empty journals and thought I take out the other ones too and write a random post. Not to mention sharing my other obsessions aside from that of things related to the e-circle.

So what about you? What do you collect?

*All images were snapped and edited by DTLCT

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