Fan Fiction: Critiquing Your Own Stories

Years ago when I was still active on Winglin and other online communities, there was an explosion of different authors and readers alike coming out with websites or their own page to critique different fan fiction authors. Whether it was to help the authors improve their writing techniques or just something fun to do, it was quite an experience. I never submitted my stories to any of those websites but found them intriguing because I learned of how an author’s perspective could be versus how readers see it. It’s so obvious for everyday, published authors to go through this process. But at that time when I started posting my stories online, it was a new experience for me and it opened my eyes to some levels.

So, what’s the point of this post, right? Especially when I’ve been lagging soooo much on stories. This is an attempt to get back into it. Because the following will be an activity like the title said. I’m going to have fun and critique all the fanfictions I’ve ever written. Yes, I won’t leave anything untouched. But before I do, here’s a disclaimer for those who haven’t read the stories yet (so don’t say I didn’t warn you):

NOTE: The following contains spoilers (obviously from the title), SO if you haven’t read my stories yet, DO NOT proceed.

The beginning of the story had great potential and felt refreshing. It paved a nice and peaceful picture and a hopeful feeling because it described the two major characters’ feelings and goals in life. The humorous exchanges between several characters led readers to believe it would be a fun story. Although it had some typical formula of a small-town family with the scenic backdrop to pave the way, there was some mystery with various characters that readers could look forward to exploring. All in all, it paved a promising picture.

The problem with this story was that it was too wordy. It was one of my first attempts at writing fanfiction so it got so messy with descriptions. It didn’t take into account “show instead of telling” so it felt flaky and corny. In addition, because there was a setback with the last few chapters so it dived into the morbid side without intending to in the first place. It completely took away from the main plot and its lighthearted feeling that was established in the first place. A bad call. Like the feeling when the writers totally gave up and just wanted to end it already like how I often criticize them, lol. Also, the feeling of the celebs chosen was so random and unorganized, like lumping a bunch of people together just because. It felt like a test run.

Heaven’s Gift

The setting at the beach at the beginning of the story was promising and lighthearted. It presented a typical picture yet also let readers see a glimpse into each major character’s personality with a dash of humor. It seemed like they didn’t change much over the years, except for the circumstances around them. Light humor continued to occupy the scene, paving the story and pushing the major characters together–or apart–as time went by. There were some surprising details to the plot but it lacked some details here and there, not allowing the full potential of the plot to be explored.

HIDE & SEEK

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Honey In Tea

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Neurotic

Like some other stories, it started out describing the scenery and then introducing the characters. The weather, once again, like some other stories, gave hints to what the plot was going to be like. There was some side humor but just subtle, not too much. It was saying like the story meant business and it was no time to joke around, not really.

It was an interesting concept although it didn’t take in a lot of rules of sci-fi and went off the rails regarding technicalities. However, what made up for it was the layout of the major characters. It kept consistent and featured three female leads. What broke the rule for the third one was leading into a happier, hopeful ending than was predicted. It also gave more character and depth to one of the so-called villains and even allowed for that person to redeem himself and had a start over.

Payback

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Scheming Nature

This was a typical setup of two pairings that were living on the opposite side of society. They met and interacted and somehow became entangled in a complex scheme. It provided a sense of mystery to the overall story and made the readers want to know what was to come and where the story was heading toward. The ending was a bit of an unknown, especially after the intense confrontations between two of the major characters and how it went down. However, it proved to be going on a typical route with allowing all problems to be resolved in a more favorable manner.

This story attempted to mock the life of gangsters and how it was supposed to be yet failed because, in the end, it was equally cliche and was corny in a sense of allowing some bizarre details to come into play. Although having the theme of gang-related activities as the backdrop for the plot, it failed to achieve its intended effect because of the halfway compromise of the mood as an overall. Sometimes, it edged toward the side of intensity or darkness that could push past the barriers of safety but it was shy of making it into something much more.

Slanted Thoughts

The story started out really random, bordering childishness because of the constant fights between two of the major characters. However, it evolved into a sadder story because of what happened at the end. Although it attempted to resurrect the atmosphere with some side humor, the plot never recovered with the happiness felt at the beginning of the story. It was later explained in the second part why it was so and eventually leading the plot into a darker path than was originally intended to–or so it seemed when compared to the beginning of the first part. What the plot lacked severely was the explanation and more details into a certain mysterious organization that impacted some characters’ lives so many years and ongoing. Some of the undertones provided a hint about how they were a big deal and were not to be messed with. Yet it failed to back up the claim as the story went along and eventually wrapped up. It also never explained why Tammy’s character had so much impact on what Wallace’s life was going to be and yet left him alone after he had apparently restored his memories. Or was it because it was to emphasize how scary he was if he returned to his past self? Or because the organization didn’t care how things turned out and that it was only important they kept everything a secret? Some things were never answered.

Slicing Boundary

This was a fun read, at least at the beginning. Sure, there were childish humor and constant competition between the two siblings–or so readers thought as it was with typical siblings rivalry. However, it took a dark turn, killing a major character unnecessarily. Was that an attempt to be overdramatic? Or was it because the writer just decided to give up and end it that way?

The Business

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The Dating Game

The story seemed really random but that wasn’t a bad thing. It hinted potential with so many major characters involved and how each was at a different point in their lives. It was fascinating to see how they all met and would become important–one way or another–in each other’s lives. The story shifted between humor and intensity and back again. Yet always managed to push the plot forward, introducing new characters or circumstances into their lives and how they would react to those situations.

Although the cast was so extended that it provided an outlet for many story arches yet because it was so crowded that it didn’t allow for a focus on some characters. Also, some of the characters had suffered from the inconsistency of personality, except for the main characters. It also created an unrealistic atmosphere with so many of their gatherings and their strong bonds over the years. It could be both good and bad but mostly it was unrealistic. Not to mention how ridiculously meddlesome most of them were of one another’s lives. The occasional stalking of various parties was equally bizarre.

The Other Extreme

The first scene already gave a snapshot of what the story was going to be about and how the dark mood predicted the inevitable ending for some characters. The weather foreshadowed a lot of the scenes that were to come for the story. The layout wasn’t bad yet the constant side randomness and humor involving the characters downplayed the overall theme for the majority of the story. It was actually character-based and not plot-based like it should have been. The lack of information on both gang’s background made it hard to relate and didn’t allow for more interest toward that side of the story. It became a wannabe gangster story because it didn’t say how or why they were fighting or fleeing for their lives. It was only covered briefly at the beginning of how both sides had been fighting since forever yet never revealed the real reason why.

Tri-Visual

The storytelling style was strange yet intriguing. It made readers want to read more and find out what was going on and what was the deal with these characters. Or if they could get out from the current prison they were in. However, there were only glimpses here and there and some side details of the characters. They could have been extended to a much more complex story.

True Friendship

This story started out introducing the main characters right away and hinted at their established relationship and how it would come into play later on. The story began lighthearted with some side humor and then took a more serious turn as the characters acknowledge much more complex issues surrounding their lives. In some sense, the story allowed the characters to face reality with a hard punch. But in other sense, it felt a little dramatic and forced. Yet the story was still written a dialed down sort of way, like some subtlety of daily life happenings that could edge toward blandness but jumped back with a kick to tell us that reality will strike again. It was a mixture of complexity and simplicity. It had this balance and one tip of the scale would lead the story spiraling away.

When Wishes Come True

The story introduced some promising aspects, such as the story being told from the main character’s point of view. There were also inspirational quotes involved. So that sort of gave a feeling of a legit book. However, it took a shaky turn and ended up being a typical high school, mean girl type of war. There were some interesting ideas but the execution was terrible and the plot dull. If at all, that was.

Winds & Rain

Extremely disappointing because it seemed like an attempt to crank out something that involved the two main characters. It seemed like an unfinished story and didn’t involve a lot of details. It would have been better to wait for some sort of idea to come forth before continuing with the story. It should have been a one-shot, then it would make more sense.

Conclusion

So, aside from being random for this post, what’s the point here? Of all the stories I’ve written, I only liked True Friendship. Yes, that sad. I took it slow and made it through without feeling like I needed to rush anything or wanted to write to please readers. It wasn’t like I didn’t add in random conversations or some bizarre humor. The story had both. But what was different was how the two main characters didn’t end up together but also didn’t downplay their relationship throughout. It acknowledged some of the more realistic aspects of life, even if it didn’t allow for the story to cover all. I did get stuck on it at one time but the time spent thinking about the plot as an overall and side brainstorming, it had allowed me to change the ending for the better, at least to me.

I also realized some things about my writing styles. Well, I already realized it for a while now but here’s an outright confession, lol. Some characters, especially the main ones, tend to fall into one formula. So I think that’s something to take into account to try to make it different in the future. Or least mix it up a bit.

If anyone noticed, I think I got influenced by Gu Long and Jin Yong at times, lol. No jokes. Sad, but I read those two a lot so I got influenced, especially with describing sceneries and stuff. But of course, I couldn’t go to their level. Not yet. The reason I said “not yet” is because I at least want to reserve some hope that one day I could reach another level. Or like find my own styles. For now, just recognizing the flaws is enough.

So that’s the fun post. More to come in the future, hopefully.

NOTE: This post will be updated from time to write as I add more stories to my blog or finish the current ones.

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Status of Fan Fiction XXI

The last time I updated this was more than two years ago. I thought I need to bring this up again, despite having literally no progress at all for almost two years now. What happened? The crazy and/or dramas just kept piling up that I couldn’t catch a break to do it. Well, I did write a lot but I kept backspacing or just scratching it out altogether. To be totally honest, my focus for the past few years has been the three parts of Wan Xin Bang (萬心幫). It’s listed in some of the other updates, but I pulled it from the fanfiction section because I was changing it around too much. When I’m finally done, like absolutely no more changing my mind about the plot, I will post it up. Yes, there are three parts of Wan Xin Bang. It’s also my first wuxia attempt ever so it’s really hard but also fun. I also ended up starting my second wuxia, which would also be having multiple parts, lol.

Anyway, getting back to this current update, the current total vote is 69.

Current Fan Fics:

Hide & Seek – 25 Votes – One vote up from last time YET I’m still not moving. Again, I’m trying to preserve some sort of light tone to it, even if some details are leaning toward a more serious route. I don’t want to end up killing some characters senselessly just to finish the story off. So yeah, sorry, but I’ll try somehow to finish it. It’s just hanging in limbo for now.

Honey In Tea – 9 Votes – One up from last time I updated. Once again, didn’t want to ruin it.

Payback – 3 Votes – Regarding this, I merged part 2 with part 1 so now there’s only 1 part, nice? Yes, hence the updated poster to include Dou Hua Mei. She will be an essential character, and that’s all I’m saying for now.

Stranded – 3 Votes – Totally scrapping it. Or more like some of the cast/characters and revamping it to make it my version. It’s not working out. Not to mention a tragedy happening at the beginning of last month also drove my decision.

The Business – 7 Votes – Will finish it. I actually like this one so I’m not giving up on it. It just needs time for me to not ruin it.

Upcoming Fan Fics:

I know it’s like ridiculous to still maintain this section when I’m up in my heads with a lack of updates for all the others. Yet I just couldn’t help myself.

Slanted Thoughts 3 – Okay, I know. You’re all like: This thing needs a 3? Yes, it’s crazy. I actually thought of part 3 like two years back. It’s mostly the first chapter and notes. But I think it’s going to happen. But rest assured that like some of my past sagas, this will only be three parts.

The Dating Game 6 – I’m almost done with this. Just need a few more chapters. I actually want to do another read over to see if I should go with that route or backtrack. I might post it up to keep my lack of updates for fan fics less pathetic.

One-shots is now at 22. I’m not sure what I should be writing about, even if it’s just one-shots. I actually have some drawn up, but then ended up scrapping it, because of recent events, etc.

So overall, all I can say is I can’t promise anything regarding updates, considering how the craziness just keeps piling up. Now, I have other more pressing things in my life to take care of. Maybe when that front is more stable and I’m less stressed, updates will happen. If you haven’t noticed yet, I don’t want to get updates out for the sake of it.

Year 2017 in Recap

year_review

When I thought that 2016 was a terrible year for me, I was wrong. 2017 continued to tank to a new level of crappiness. There were many frustrating things–one after another. It was like when I asked, “How much worse could 2017 be?”, it was like a challenge to the universe. So stuff happening in real life obviously affected how much time I have for this blog or attempted to keep some sort of activity. I did better than last year regarding updates, but that was a lot of effort because I’m still way behind on some news that I wanted to talk about. Yet no time or more like didn’t feel like it at the moment. I continued to get drained to another level that I thought might not be possible–like several days before. Then the pattern just repeated itself at different intervals. I think somewhere along the way, I ended up revamping my blog by getting rid of the too random posts. Like those general update ones. Although my blog already is random on many levels, I didn’t want to just post for the sake of placeholders too much. Anyway, here are some stats for this year.

Total Posts in 2017: 155 (11.7% of all time).

January: 18 (% of the year)
February: 10 (%)
March: 21 (%)
April: 20 (%)
May: 11 (%)
June: 18 (%)
July: 6 (%)
August: 4 (%)
September: 20 (%)
October: 14 (%)
November: 9 (%)
December: 4 (%)

Books Reviews:

Sad, because I actually read a bit this year but didn’t feel like doing reviews for some of them. Maybe I’ll go back to do them later.

Movies + TV Series Reviews/Episode Summaries:

Fan Fiction:

Complete failure–unlike what I promised last year about getting things done. I started looking over some of the fanfics again and managed to get going on some, but I can’t promise how fast it would be rolled out. I’ll get it out when I’m happy with what I wrote.

Songs Translations:

I used “You’re Always Beautiful” to start the year, thinking that if I continue to retain some sense of positiveness, somehow things will get better. But it didn’t. Anyway, how was this year regarding translations? I didn’t realize I was that productive. Mostly, I tried to push the majority of 183 Club’s songs out.

Chinese:

Vietnamese:

I didn’t want to do this update like I said last year. However, I felt like I needed to persuade myself to continue on. Not to mention, I want to keep some sort of a teeny, tiny bit of hope that 2018 will actually be better. So we’ll see, right?

The Next Page of Me by Cyndi Wang

Song Title: The Next Page of Me (下一頁的我)

Lyricist: Yi Jia Yang (易家扬)

Composer: Mizuno Yoshiki  (水野良树)

Key:
Bold = Chinese
Red-Violet = Pin Yin
Lavender = English
Sea Green = Vietnamese

就要出發 是馬
jiu yao chu fa   shi ma
About to set out, right?
Sắp xuất phát rồi, phải không?
這問題困擾著我
zhe wen ti kun rao zhe wo
This matter has been disturbing me
Vấn đề này đang quấy rối tôi
是個可能吧 或許想太多
shi ge ke neng ba   huo xu xiang tai duo
Is it possible? Or perhaps I’m thinking too much?
Chuyện này có khả năng không? Hay là tôi đã nghĩ quá nhiều?
有的夢不去做好可惜
you de meng bu qu zuo hao ke xi
If a dream isn’t pursued, then it’s really a shame
Nếu giấc mơ mà không thực hiện thì đáng tiếc lắm

我害怕嗎 有點
wo hai pa ma   you dian
Am I afraid? A little bit
Tôi có sợ hay không? Có chút đỉnh
孤單很痛的對不對
gu dan hen tong de dui bu dui
Loneliness is very painful, right?
Sự cô đơn rất là đau khổ, phải không?
我得放下 翻開這一頁
wo de fang xia   fan kai zhe yi ye
I should let go and turn that page
Tôi nên buông xuống mà lật trang đó đi
沒時間想過去
mei shi jian xiang guo qu
There’s no time to think about the past
Không có thời gian để nghĩ tới dĩ vãng

心中會怕才問自己
xin zhong hui pa cai wen zi ji
My heart is afraid to ask itself
Lòng tôi lo sợ phải hỏi chính mình
那些曾經的話語
na xie ceng jing de hua yu
Those words of the past
Những lời đó của quá khứ
謝謝是你讓我有天空和明天
xie xie shi ni rang wo you tian kong he ming tian
Thank you for allowing me to have a sky and a tomorrow
Cám ơn anh đã cho tôi một khung trời và một ngày mai
學會獨立
xue hui du li
To learn independence
Để học biết tự lập

站在未知的泥土裡
zhan zai wei zhi de ni tu li
Standing at an unknown path
Đứng tại một con đường vô danh
看我勇敢的深呼吸
kan wo yong gan de shen hu xi
Seeing me taking a deep breath of courage
Xem tôi hít sâu một hơi đầy dũng cảm
黑的夜 我不怕
hei de ye   wo bu pa
I’m not afraid of the dark night
Tôi không sợ đêm u tối
天空很大 像在說 不能哭
tian kong hen da xiang zai shuo bu neng ku
The sky is humongous, like it’s saying, “Don’t cry.”
Khung trời rất vĩ đại, giống như là đang nói rằng: Đừng nên khóc

下一頁的我 會去哪裡 用多大的用氣
xia yi ye de wo   hui qu na li   yong duo da de yong qi
The next page of me, I could go anywhere because I have so much courage
Trang kế tiếp của tôi, tôi muốn đi đâu cũng được vì tôi có rất nhiều dũng khí
所有夢裡面的風雨 我不怕那是我的試題
suo you meng li mian de feng yu   wo bu pa na shi wo de shi ti
All the wind and rain within the dream, I’m not afraid that those are my tests
Tất cả phong ba bão táp của giấc mộng, tôi đều không sợ những thử thách đó
下一頁的我 希望能擁有 美麗的明天
xia yi ye de wo   xi wang neng yong you   mi li de ming tian
The next page of me, hoping that I could have a beautiful tomorrow
Trang kế tiếp của tôi, hy vọng rằng tôi có thể được một ngày mai tươi đẹp
所以這次我送走從前 因為我 看的見
suo yi zhe ci wo song zou cong qian  yin wei wo   kan de jian
Therefore, this time, I’m sending off the past, because I could see clearly
Cho nên, lần này, tôi tạm biệt quá khứ, bởi vì tôi đã nhìn thấy rõ

(music)

擔心什麼 去吧
dan xin shen me   qu ba
What is there to worry? Just go
Lo gì chứ? Hãy đi đi
愛讓人哭真對不起
ai rang ren ku zhen dui bu qi
Love makes one cry, I’m really sorry
Tình yêu làm cho người ta khóc, thiệt xin lỗi
之前的回憶 握在掌心裡
zhi qian de hui yi   wo zai zhang xin li
Memories of the past are held in my heart
Ký ức của dĩ vãng đang chứa đựng trong lòng tôi
它讓我 再苦也肯努力
ta rang wo   zai ku ye ken nu li
It allows me to strive forward regardless of the hardship
Nó khiến cho tôi không ngừng cố gằng dù có bao nhiêu khổ nhọc

耳邊的風 吹吧
er bian de feng   chui ba
The wind by the ear, go ahead and blow
Gió bên tai, hãy cứ thổi
讓我聽見新消息
rang wo ting jian xin xiao xi
Allowing me to hear the news
Để tôi được nghe tin tức mới
在旅途上 愛是氧氣
zai lu tu shang   ai shi yang qi
During this journey, love is the oxygen
Đối với chuyến đi này, tình yêu là dưỡng khí
讓我越來越肯定
rang wo yue lai yue ken ding
Allowing me to be more and more certain
Để tôi càng lúc càng khẳng định hơn

心中會怕才問自己
xin zhong hui pa cai wen zi ji
My heart is afraid to ask itself
Lòng tôi lo sợ phải hỏi chính mình
那些曾經的話語
na xie ceng jing de hua yu
Those words of the past
Những lời đó của quá khứ
謝謝是你讓我有天空和明天
xie xie shi ni rang wo you tian kong he ming tian
Thank you for allowing me to have a sky and a tomorrow
Cám ơn anh đã cho tôi một khung trời và một ngày mai
學會獨立
xue hui du li
To learn independence
Để học biết tự lập

站在未知的泥土裡
zhan zai wei zhi de ni tu li
Standing at an unknown path
Đứng tại một con đường vô danh
看我勇敢的深呼吸
kan wo yong gan de shen hu xi
Seeing me taking a deep breath of courage
Xem tôi hít sâu một hơi đầy dũng cảm
黑的夜 我不怕
hei de ye wo bu pa
I’m not afraid of the dark night
Tôi không sợ đêm u tối
天空很大 像在說 不能哭
tian kong hen da xiang zai shuo bu neng ku
The sky is humongous, like it’s saying, “Don’t cry.”
Khung trời rất vĩ đại, giống như là đang nói rằng: Đừng nên khóc

下一頁的我 會去哪裡 用多大的用氣
xia yi ye de wo hui qu na li yong duo da de yong qi
The next page of me, I could go anywhere because I have so much courage
Trang kế tiếp của tôi, tôi muốn đi đâu cũng được vì tôi có rất nhiều dũng khí
所有夢裡面的風雨 我不怕那是我的試題
suo you meng li mian de feng yu wo bu pa na shi wo de shi ti
All the wind and rain within the dream, I’m not afraid that those are my tests
Tất cả phong ba bão táp của giấc mộng, tôi đều không sợ những thử thách đó
下一頁的我 希望能擁有 美麗的明天
xia yi ye de wo xi wang neng yong you mi li de ming tian
The next page of me, hoping that I could have a beautiful tomorrow
Trang kế tiếp của tôi, hy vọng rằng tôi có thể được một ngày mai tươi đẹp
所以這次我送走從前 因為我 看的見
suo yi zhe ci wo song zou cong qian yin wei wo kan de jian
Therefore, this time, I’m sending off the past, because I could see clearly
Cho nên, lần này, tôi tạm biệt quá khứ, bởi vì tôi đã nhìn thấy rõ

(music)

萬言藏在我心中
wan yan cang zai wo xin zhong
Thousand of words are hidden within my heart
Có hàng ngàn lời nói đang ẩn khuất trong lòng tôi
相信它吧 往前衝
xiang xin ta ba   wang qian chong
Believe them, charge forward
Tin tưởng chúng đi, tiến tới phía trước
我的路 我就一定讓它走成幸福
wo de lu   wo jiu yi ding rang ta zou cheng xing fu
My path, I will definitely let it arrive at happiness
Con đường của tôi, tôi sẽ nhứt định đưa nó tới điểm của hạnh phúc
那些作了的夢忘了嗎 那些萬分之一的也許
na xie zuo le de meng wang le ma   na xie wan fen zhi yi de ye xu
Those accomplished dreams, have you forgotten already? Those ten thousandth of possibilities
Những giấc mơ hiện thực đó, anh đã quên rồi sao? Một phần ngàn của những chuyện có thể đó

不用說 我還是我
bu yong shuo   wo hai shi wo
There’s no need to say anything, I’m still me
Không cần nói gì hết, tôi vẫn là tôi
約定怎樣寂寞也不能哭
yue ding zen yang ji mo ye bu neng ku
It’s already decided that we shouldn’t cry no matter how lonely it could get
Chúng ta đã quyết định rồi, dù cô đơn cỡ nào cũng không được khóc
看吧 下大雨也不認輸
kan ba   xia da yu ye bu ren shu
Look! Even if it’s there’s a huge rainstorm, we shouldn’t admit defeat
Nhìn đi! Cho dù có mưa to gió lớn, chúng ta cũng không được nhận thua
請讓我 學長大
qing rang wo   xue zhang da
Please allow me to learn and grow
Xin hãy để tôi có thể học làm sao trưởng thành

下一頁的我 會去哪裡 用多大的用氣
xia yi ye de wo hui qu na li yong duo da de yong qi
The next page of me, I could go anywhere because I have so much courage
Trang kế tiếp của tôi, tôi muốn đi đâu cũng được vì tôi có rất nhiều dũng khí
所有夢裡面的風雨 我不怕那是我的試題
suo you meng li mian de feng yu wo bu pa na shi wo de shi ti
All the wind and rain within the dream, I’m not afraid that those are my tests
Tất cả phong ba bão táp của giấc mộng, tôi đều không sợ những thử thách đó
下一頁的我 希望能擁有 美麗的明天
xia yi ye de wo xi wang neng yong you mi li de ming tian
The next page of me, hoping that I could have a beautiful tomorrow
Trang kế tiếp của tôi, hy vọng rằng tôi có thể được một ngày mai tươi đẹp
所以這次我送走從前 因為我 看的見
suo yi zhe ci wo song zou cong qian yin wei wo kan de jian
Therefore, this time, I’m sending off the past, because I could see clearly
Cho nên, lần này, tôi tạm biệt quá khứ, bởi vì tôi đã nhìn thấy rõ

*All translations were done by DTLCT.

Heaven of Love by Cyndi Wang

Song Title: Heaven of Love (愛的天國)

Lyricist: Yao Qian (姚謙)

Composer: Huang Yun Ling  (黃韻玲)

Key:
Bold = Chinese
Royal Blue = Pin Yin
Purple = English
Green = Vietnamese

有谁 能夠告訴我
you shui   neng gou gao su wo
Who can tell me
Ai có thể nói cho tôi biết
時間的海 多深
shi jian de hai   duo shen
How deep is the sea of time?
Biển thời gian thật ra bao sâu?
你和我的心 明明曾經是相愛的
ni he wo de xin   ming ming ceng jing shi xiang ai de
The hearts of yours and mine were clearly once in love with one another
Tim của anh và tôi rõ ràng đã từng yêu thương nhau

是否你還 聽得到
shi fou ni hai   ting de dao
Could it be that you can hear
Có phải anh đã nghe được
我乎喊你的 聲音
wo hu han ni de   sheng yin
My voice calling you?
Tiếng em đang gọi anh?
為何我有種 靠不近你的心情
wei he wo you zhong   kao bu jin ni de xin qing
Why is it that I feel like I couldn’t reach you?
Sao em có cảm giác như giữa chúng ta có một sự ngăn cách?

越來越不能夠 相信
yue lai yue bu neng gou   xiang xin
Increasingly difficult to believe
Càng lúc khó có thể tin rằng
生命之中 沒有你
sheng ming zhi zhong   mei you ni
A life without you
Một cuộc sống không có anh
好想天國 沒有美麗的嫁衣
hao xiang tian guo   mei you mei li de jia yi
Like Heaven without beautiful wedding gowns
Giống như thiên đường không có những áo cưới tuyệt đẹp

為什麼 在我的眼晴
wei shen me   zai wo de yan qing
Why is it in my eyes
Tại sao trong ánh mắt em
總有預感 將要下雨
zong you yu gan   jiang yao xia yu
There’s a premonition that it will rain?
Có dự cảm giống như trời sắp mưa vậy?
就算走在 人群裡
jiu suan zou zai   ren qun li
Even if walking within a crowd
Mặc dù đi giữa quần chúng
也覺得 好孤寂
ye jue de   hao gu ji
The feeling is still loneliness
Cũng có cảm giác rất cô đơn

為什麼 在你的眼晴
wei shen me   zai ni de yan qing
Why is it in your eyes
Tại sao trong ánh mắt anh
我看不到 你的疼惜
wo kan bu dao   ni de teng xi
I can’t see any sense of cherish?
Em không thấy được chút thương tiếc nào?
難道愛己 溶化在詩間裡
nan dao ai ji   rong hua zai shi jian li
Could it be that love has already dissolved within time?
Có phải tình yêu đã tan biến theo thời gian rồi?

(music)

有誰能夠 告訴我
you shui neng gou   gao su wo
Who can tell me
Ai có thể nói cho tôi biết
愛的天國 多遠
ai de tian guo   duo yuan
How far the Heaven of Love is?
Thiên đường tình yêu thật ra bao xa?
你和我的夢 是否可能會實現
ni he wo de meng   shi fou ke neng shi xian
Could that dream of yours and mine still become a reality?
Giấc mộng của anh và tôi có thể thực hiện được không?

越來越不能夠 相信
yue lai yue bu neng gou   xiang xin
Increasingly difficult to believe
Càng lúc khó có thể tin rằng
生命之中 沒有你
sheng ming zhi zhong   mei you ni
A life without you
Một cuộc sống không có anh
好想天國 沒有美麗的嫁衣
hao xiang tian guo   mei you mei li de jia yi
Like Heaven without beautiful wedding gowns
Giống như thiên đường không có những áo cưới tuyệt đẹp

為什麼 在我的眼晴
wei shen me   zai wo de yan qing
Why is it in my eyes
Tại sao trong ánh mắt em
總有預感 將要下雨
zong you yu gan   jiang yao xia yu
There’s a premonition that it will rain?
Có dự cảm giống như trời sắp mưa vậy?
就算走在 人群裡
jiu suan zou zai   ren qun li
Even if walking within a crowd
Mặc dù đi giữa quần chúng
也覺得 好孤寂
ye jue de   hao gu ji
The feeling is still loneliness
Cũng có cảm giác rất cô đơn

為什麼 在你的眼晴
wei shen me   zai ni de yan qing
Why is it in your eyes
Tại sao trong ánh mắt anh
我看不到 你的疼惜
wo kan bu dao   ni de teng xi
I can’t see any sense of cherish?
Em không thấy được chút thương tiếc nào?
難道愛己 溶化在詩間裡
nan dao ai ji   rong hua zai shi jian li
Could it be that love has already dissolved within time?
Có phải tình yêu đã tan biến theo thời gian rồi?

為什麼 相愛的原因
wei shen me   xiang ai de yuan yin
Why is it that the reason for loving one another
Tại sao lý do để ta thương nhau
隨著你 轉身的離去
sui zhe ni   zhuan shen de li qu
Could follow you and just leave when you turn around?
Có thể theo ta rồi lại biến mất lúc ta quay lại?
愛的天國 己遙不可及
ai de tian guo   ji yao bu ke ji
Heaven of love is so far that it could not be reached
Thiên đường tình yêu đã quá xa đến mức ta không thể nào tới được

*All translations were done by DTLCT.